All the Right Reasons
by smacky30
Summary: When Sara doubts Grissom's feelings Brass steps in to lend a hand.  A little heart to heart. Not mine!  Wish they were.  Written for atrueparrothead.  Beta'd by dreamsofhim.


Jim Brass rapped his knuckles twice against the smooth wood of the door before turning the knob and pushing it open. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of the woman standing across the room. She was beautiful on any day but today she was exquisite. The pale peach walls were a perfect foil for her creamy skin and light from the window she stood in front of gave her a golden glow. She seemed ethereal, as if she would disappear at the lightest touch, though Jim knew she was stronger than any of them realized.

"Hey there," he said quietly so that he didn't startle her.

Slowly, Sara turned her head and gave him a weak smile, her features partly obscured by the sunlight spilling through the window behind her. With a slight shrug of her shoulders at the question on his face she resumed her perusal of the distant mountain range.

Brass stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. "Everybody's waiting on you. Are you ready to go?"

As he moved further into the room the light caught on the tears streaking her cheeks. Not sure how to proceed, Brass stopped and simply stared at Sara, his expression one of bewilderment.

Finally he found his voice. "I hope those're tears of happiness," he quipped, the concern in his blue eyes cancelling the snarky tone.

Sara gave a chuff of laughter that ended on a sob. Shaking her head she replied in a low voice, "No."

When she turned to face him, Jim was surprised to see something that looked like fear lurking in her eyes. "What's the matter? You got stage fright? 'Cause nobody out there'll be throwing things at you. I made them check that stuff at the door."

Sara rewarded Brass with a tremulous smile. "Thanks," she said, "I appreciate the help."

"That's more like it. I knew I must've been imagining things." Giving her a soft smile, he continued, "No woman as beautiful as you should cry; especially, not on her wedding day."

Sara blushed at his compliment. "Thanks. And I know I shouldn't be crying. It's supposed to be the happiest day of my life…right?"

"Whoa. That doesn't sound like you mean it." When she didn't disagree, Brass motioned toward the camel colored settee that had been placed in the room as a prop for the many pictures taken on these occasions. "Come over here and have a seat. Tell Uncle Jimmy all about it."

Sara's lips quirked up in a tiny smile as she moved across the room to sit beside him. She sat quietly, a lump of dread in her chest, as she attempted to gather her thoughts. When the silence began to linger long enough become uncomfortable she began to speak.

"When I was…gone, there was one thing that kept me going." Looking up at Brass, Sara blinked in an attempt to fight the tears that were threatening to spill over her lids. "It wasn't my job or my friends. It was Grissom. I focused on Gil. I replayed every moment, good and bad, of our relationship over and over in my head."

Brass nodded and reached over to give her hand a squeeze. "Sara…," he trailed off when she shook her head.

"I need to say this to someone," she whispered. "It just happens to be your lucky day." Sara laced her fingers with Jim's and drew in a calming breath. "I was out there, alone, with that car crushing me and the rain pouring down and I was…so scared. It was so cold - freezing. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to move. It would have been so easy to give in and just let go. But I couldn't because I had some unfinished business. I had a life to live. I wasn't ready to die."

Jim made a soft sound that may have been protest or agreement. He closed his eyes, pictures of his own slippery slope playing through his mind. "That would have been bad, really bad."

Giving him a look he couldn't quite decipher, Sara nodded. "I know. And I don't wish that I had, not for a second."

"So what's the problem? You think somebody wishes you _had_ died?"

With a grin, Sara said, "Nah. Catherine and I made up a while ago and Sofia has you." At his chuckle, she continued, "It's not that. I'm just worried that maybe Grissom thinks he…has to marry me…_because_ I almost died. Maybe he's just reacting to the situation like Warrick did with Tina after Nick's ordeal."

"What?!" Brass' voice squeaked out in surprise. "I can't believe you'd think that. If you had seen him, Sara, you'd never let that cross your mind." After a second he asked, "You guys haven't talked about this much, have you?"

Looking more than a little embarrassed, Sara shook her head. It was no more than Brass had expected. Neither Gil nor Sara was known for their communication skills. They were brilliant and meticulous and seriously messed up. Even now, after everything they had been through, they hadn't learned to open up.

Pausing to gather his thoughts, Brass said, "Let me tell you a little story." When Sara quirked an eyebrow in a silent question, he continued.

"I've known Gil Grissom for somewhere close to fifteen years. And from the day he came back from that seminar in San Fran I knew there was something different. He couldn't wait to check his email every day. And more than once I'd catch him on the phone, his voice kinda low, grinning like some love struck idiot." Brass shook his head at the memory. "I'm not stupid. I knew there was a woman. Now, you know I'm not one to pry so I didn't ask but I didn't have to. Because the next thing I know you're here and it all made sense."

Sara blushed and Brass chuckled at her discomfort. "Don't act all surprised. We both know the man has been crazy about you from the moment he laid eyes on you. He hasn't always done things right but he's always loved you."

"I've watched the two of you for years. Sometimes I wanted to shoot you both." Brass shook his head, a wry smile playing around his lips. "Two most stubborn people I've ever seen. It was like a train wreck. I wanted to look away but I just couldn't."

Giving Sara's hand a gentle squeeze, he said, "For a while I thought it would never work out. I thought that Gil would push you to the point that you'd leave. And I hoped that I wouldn't be around to see that day."

Sara chuckled and Brass gave her a smile. When she opened her mouth to say something he shook his head and continued.

"I have seen Gil in a lot of situations and not all of them pleasant. But I have never seen him react to anything the way he did to this. He was consumed. Did he tell you that he shook Natalie?"

Sara's eyes flew to his, and she gasped, "He did what?"

Brass gave a quick nod, his eyes locked on hers. "Yeah. He grabbed her and shook her, screamed at her to tell him where you were. He told everybody on Graveyard that you were the only person he ever loved as if it were the most natural thing in the world for him to say it."

After gathering his thoughts, Brass continued, "For as long as I've known him, Gil's never lost it with a suspect. Pedophiles, rapists, serial killers, you name it, he's held his cool. He's gotten confessions from people I couldn't touch. But when he realized you were gone and she couldn't, or wouldn't, tell him where you were he was like a maniac."

His eyes took on a faraway look as Brass remembered the harrowing hours while Sara was missing, "He lost all perspective. Nobody was moving fast enough. Nobody was working hard enough. Nobody was doing all they could to find you. And when he wasn't storming up and down the halls bellowing, he was sitting in his office with the door closed."

Seeing that there was more that Jim wasn't saying, Sara asked, "What? What are you not telling me?"

"You're too observant for _my_ own good." With a shrug and grimace, he said, "I probably shouldn't say anything but…I walked in there once, just to make sure he was okay. You know what he was doing?" Sara shook her head though Brass didn't wait for her to answer. "Praying."

Sara sat quietly, absorbing Jim's words. When she spoke, her voice was a whisper. "I…I didn't know."

Pausing to take a breath, his voice roughened by emotion, he said, "I'll tell you something else. After everything Gil's been through, I've never seen him cry. He's seen shit that would make most people stop believing in God and he's never let it get to him. But when we got the word that you had been found he broke down."

Seeing the tears that were welling in Sara's eyes, Jim plucked a couple of tissues from the box on the end table beside him and handed them to her.

"I'm not telling you this to hurt you. I want you to understand just what we're dealing with here. He doesn't feel obligated. He loved you before and he loves you now. I think he realized just how much while he was in Massachusetts."

"Why do you say that?" Sara asked, truly puzzled by Jim's statement.

With a sly smile, he said, "Because I saw you two in the hall. If there was ever a man who had missed a woman, he was it. As corny as this sounds, he lit up. He was itching to touch you…and not just because he was, um, was…"

"Horny?" Sara couldn't hide her smile at the blush that rose on Brass' cheeks.

Refusing to meet her eyes, he said, "Please don't put those images in my head. I'll have to bleach my brain."

"Sorry," she murmured, barely containing her laughter.

"No, you're not, but that's beside the point." With another squeeze to her hand, Brass continued, "The point is that Gil loves you and wants to marry you. He wants to spend the rest of his life with you. When we were in the car on the way to you, he kept saying that he should have told you. Over and over, like he was crazy. I was beginning to worry. Finally, I asked him what he should have told you and do you know what he said?"

Her voice barely a whisper, Sara said, "No. What?"

"He said that he should have told you how much he loved you. And that if you died before he got the chance that he would never be able to forgive himself. "

"Oh," was all she could think of to say. "Oh."

Sara shook her head. Jim's words were rolling around in her brain. "I love him, Jim. And I want to marry him. I just needed to make sure…it was for all the right reasons," her voice trailed off and she gave a lopsided smile.

"There will never be a better time or better reasons." Jim gave her knee a reassuring squeeze and continued, "He's out there right now, pacing and doing that thing he does with his hand when he's nervous. He's probably debating if he should be pounding on this door. Are you trying to make the poor man nuts?"

Jim's words were reinforced when Doc Robbins knocked and stuck his head in the door. "Hey you two, is everything all right?" He studied both Brass and Sara, taking note of her tear stained cheeks and shaky smile.

Sara's shoulders visibly straightened and she said, "Yeah. Everything's fine."

"Good. Because he's beginning to think you aren't coming out." Doc's voice was full of concern. "Can I tell him you're on the way?"

"Tell him I'll see him in five minutes," Sara said with a grin.

Jim Brass tucked Sara's hand into the crook of his arm and leaned over to whisper, "You look like a dream."

Her strapless gown of ivory satin clung to her curves. Her hair was swept up leaving her long neck bare. A single diamond glittered in the hollow of her throat and at each ear. Her skin gleamed and her eyes twinkled in the candlelight. A smile lit her face.

With a blush, she said, "Thank you…for everything."

With a smile, Jim patted her hand. "Anytime, doll, anytime."


End file.
